Embracing Regret Minimisation
Discovering the Middle Path: Short-Term Joy and Long-Term Stability
When I began writing this newsletter, I had no intention of chasing numbers or seeking validation. Instead, I wanted to write and share from the heart, simply for the joy of it. The support and kind words I've received from all of you for my learning of 15 years have been incredibly encouraging, and I want to express my gratitude. Thank you.
Today, I want to share a personal reflection on a topic that has been on my mind lately: regret minimisation vs future optimisation. This is a journey of self-discovery and a quest for finding a balance between short-term fulfilment and long-term stability.
The Quest for Balance
I want to delve into one of the pivotal reasons behind my decision to leave a safe, well-paid job and embark on a new journey of bootstrapping my ideas with ensoview.com and supportrep.ai. For over a year, I had wrestled with the question of how to shape the canvas of my life. I encountered two paths: sacrificing short-term desires to accumulate wealth for a secure future, or living fully in the present without excessive concern for the uncertain future. Inspired by the teachings of Buddhism's middle path, I sought a way to reconcile both perspectives and live a life that fulfilled my immediate desires while safeguarding long-term stability.
To me, regret minimisation represents those things that the future version of myself would wish I had or had not done. It's about making choices that minimise the potential for future regrets.
As I lie on my death bed, what memories will fill my mind? I strive to live a life without regrets, an aspiration shared by many. However, what if that day were to come tomorrow? How would I feel about the choices I postponed, hoping for a better future?
Let me share a little background on how my perspective has evolved over the years.
Regret Minimisation in Perspective
During the first five years of my career, my focus was primarily on future optimisation, prioritising long-term goals and opportunities over immediate gratification. While this mindset helped with self-motivation, drive, and success, looking back, I regret not taking more time for travel, family, and embracing the present moment to celebrate and feel happy. It was during six short trips to US between 2008 and 2012 that I observed how some of my colleagues prioritised experiences over material gains or vice versa. The cultural differences and perspective inspired me to reassess my priorities and start minimising regrets without even realising it. I started optimising for my experiential learnings and seeking varied perspectives which I believed helped me a lot in my journey.
The following five years brought a realisation of the perspective of wealth. In 2012, I set a goal of earning a specific monthly salary, assuming it would bring me happiness. Within two years, I surpassed that target, yet the desire for more persisted. It is like a moving goal post. I discovered that the pursuit of ever-increasing numbers had diminishing returns on my overall satisfaction. It was then that I set a salary threshold that allowed me to maintain my desired lifestyle without compromising my passions and goals. This newfound freedom empowered me to take salary cuts at my job and explore job opportunities that aligned with my aspirations, all without harbouring any regrets.
To this day, I have taken salary cuts or accepted jobs with steep pay reductions (up to 75%) three times. I have no regrets about any of these choices, as each experience has contributed to my personal growth and profitability of learnings and perspectives. I firmly believe that nothing is a true failure if we use it as a stepping stone for future development.
Embracing Freedom and Growth
Regret often revolves around what we didn't do or what we failed to achieve. It stems from the disappointment of missing goals or not realising our aspirations. It could be self inflicted or forced upon us by the society.
In my fourteen years of working for a company, I never took a vacation without feeling guilty. I constantly feared missing out on work-related matters and believed that things wouldn't progress without my presence. I was always checking messages, emails, and carrying my laptop everywhere. Only after leaving my job and embarking on my own journey did I truly experience a vacation trekking through the Singalila National Park without invisible stress or pressure. Talking about this with my wife, I realised that this phenomenon is even more pronounced for mothers balancing their careers and caring for their child. If you're a mother reading this, I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter.
So much of success stems from embracing a mindset of continuous learning and growth. Personally, I was incredibly shy growing up, barely uttering a word in class. However, by committing to daily growth, there's no room for regret, only progress. I like to live by the philosophy of improving by one percent each day, knowing that in a year, I will be 37 times better than before. Looking back, this perspective keeps me focused on the future rather than dwelling on missed opportunities or shortcomings.
Living Life Looking Forward
Every time I encounter failure, instead of wallowing in guilt or negativity, I redirect my energy toward looking forward and making positive changes. I have since applied this philosophy to my career and work life. Instead of fixating on what I didn't say in a meeting or missed opportunities, I contemplate how to tackle the next challenge with newfound wisdom. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't learn from the past; it simply means we shouldn't let it anchor us.
It's all too easy to fall into the trap of local optimisation or taking the path of least resistance. However, true fulfilment lies in exploring multiple bets and pursuing step functions that compounds to exponential growth.
Living without regrets is liberating. Rather than looking back, we can focus our time and energy on moving forward. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, we can channel our energy into creating the future we desire. By reframing negative experiences as springboards for personal and professional achievement, we can rewrite our narratives and achieve our dreams.
Conclusion: Your Future Self's Wish
I'd like to conclude with a quote from Seneca's "On the Shortness of Life":
“You will hear many people saying: "When I am fifty I shall retire into leisure; when I am sixty I shall give up public duties." And what guarantee do you have of a longer life? Who will allow your course to proceed as you arrange it? Aren't you ashamed to keep for yourself just the remnants of your life, and to devote to wisdom only that time which cannot be spent on business? How late it is to begin really to live just when life must end! How stupid to forget our mortality, and put off sensible plans to our fiftieth or sixtieth year, aiming to begin life from a point at which few have arrived!”
So, my question to you is: What does your future self wish you had done today?
Let's embrace regret minimisation and create a life filled with purpose, joy, and growth. Thank you for being a part of this journey. Now I build my products in public and post the progress in Twitter, do follow there for updates.
Wishing you an inspired and regret-free week ahead.