Love the Journey - Escape the trap of Extraordinary
4 Minutes Read
It's been a while since my last update, as I've been busy in setting up and scaling DataPragmatist. I'm thrilled with its progress, having garnered over 2000 subscribers so far. The primary focus to work on the distribution first as I realised that is my weakness. The whole thought process for another day and needs a full post.
Today, I'm delving into a topic that's been occupying my thoughts for the past 4-5 years. Growing up in a Tier 2 town, my perspective on success was rather narrow. From excelling in academics during school days, to securing a well-paid job in college, and navigating the labyrinth of titles, compensation, and glory in the professional world—the pursuit of being extraordinary seemed like the ultimate aspiration. To be fair, that is what all the movies and books showed. You look at a Rajnikanth movie at young age in which he becomes rich in a song or read about college drop out Steve Jobs on starting Apple in garage. There are times I cursed about my missed opportunity of dropping off from college.
Our culture perpetuates the celebration of extraordinary achievements, spotlighting those who excel in specific, often isolated domains. These individuals are hailed as "winners," symbols of a life well lived. But I am discussing toward a little contrarian angle today—Escaping the Extraordinary Trap. This is similar to perfectionist trap which is also something to write in future.
The Scoreboard Principle: Measuring Beyond the Numbers
The Scoreboard Principle, a widely recognized concept, underscores the importance of measurement in enhancing performance. Quantifying progress drives participants to outdo themselves, often hinging on metrics about money. While being a millionaire used to be exceptional, billionaire status now defines the realm of extraordinary achievement. Most of the time, when we discuss about the job, we attach the value of compensation which is kind of a proxy for impact created (definitely not true).
However, there lies a concealed pitfall...
We've been conditioned to view ambition through a narrow lens—a climb up an imaginary ladder of success. Those who opt for undemanding roles to pursue diverse interests are labeled as unambitious or losers. Someone stepping back from a career to raise a family is deemed as falling short of their potential, as if job titles and salaries are the sole indicators of human value.
Not too long ago, I subscribed to these beliefs myself. The equation seemed simple: Achieving the extraordinary made one a winner; falling short, a loser. It left no room for those seeking a fulfilling, content life in the realm of the ordinary.
The Endless Pursuit and the Fleeting Happiness
An inherent flaw in this pursuit is its ceaselessness—a constantly shifting goalpost. As Buddha aptly stated, everything is impermanent. The euphoric happiness of extraordinary achievement is highly fleeting, quickly replaced by dissatisfaction, urging us toward the next adventure. Think about the feeling which you had when you bought a new phone, car or a house and how the feeling has changed over the time. We are not addicted to the pursuing materialistic goals but addicted to the feeling of achieving them which makes us wanting more.
In my own journey, I found myself trapped, relentlessly seeking a job that would infuse meaning into my life. Eventually, I realised the insatiable nature of this pursuit.
An impactful moment for me came while reading "The Psychology of Money" by Morgan Housel. A dialogue stood out: "Heller responds, 'Yes, but I have something he will never have ... enough.'"
I had never considered my "enough." Escaping the trap required me to think, bring life and excitement into the ordinary journey.
Redefining Success: The Beauty of the Ordinary
Here I am not saying not to be extraordinary but not to miss out 95% of the ordinary life for that 5% of extraordinary life. Enjoy the outcome but also enjoy the process.
Extraordinary is subset of ordinary: The essence lies in discovering purpose, joy, and fulfillment within the everyday journey.
The real win: It's not the endpoint that matters, but the process of striving itself.
This mirrors the concept of "Narrow vs. Broad Optimizations in Life." Excelling in one facet often corresponds to mediocrity in another. Attaining excellence across all dimensions is a rarity.
Back in 2011, I believed that a yearly salary of 12 Lakhs INR ($15,000) would bring happiness. Yet, when I achieved it a year later, I was already chasing a new number. The same cycle applied to job roles, wealth, and more. The truest trap was thinking, "When I achieve {X}, I'll be happy." X could be a promotion, retirement, money goal or anything.
So What is the aim here? Break free and relish the ordinary journey, instead of waiting for an extraordinary outcome.
If you're in the quest for "X" to find happiness, I invite you to share your perspective. i would love to hear your views.