Willingness to be disliked

"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, some time in your life."

— Victor Hugo

I was reading listening to “Courage to be disliked” and it struck a chord. The book presents an intriguing perspective: "Every issue is an interpersonal issue." This idea made me reflect on how often I limit myself, hesitating to take action because I'm concerned about others' opinions or expectations. It also makes it difficult to say No to people.

This mindset has made me almost apologetic when discussing my startup journey. Despite having months this year where I've earned more than my last drawn monthly salary, I still find myself grappling with self-doubt and questioning my path. It's as if there's a void I'm trying to fill by being overly critical of my choices.

Today, I came across the newsletter by Mark Manson, where the question comes up,

What are three things in your life that you are willing to be disliked for? If you have trouble answering that question, that is a problem.

I honestly can’t think of anything that I am willing to be disliked for. Definitely there is a problem. So what does it mean to be willing to be disliked?

Living Authentically

It means embracing my true self and living according to my own principles, rather than trying to meet the expectations of others. This authenticity is crucial for personal happiness and fulfillment. When you are not afraid of being disliked, you are free to make choices that align with your values and desires, rather than being constrained by the need for approval from others.

Freedom from External Validation

Seeking recognition and approval from others can lead to a life filled with anxiety and dissatisfaction. By discarding this need, one can focus on what truly matters to them and take responsibility for their own happiness. This shift in perspective allows you to live more freely and make decisions based on your own goals and aspirations, rather than being influenced by the fear of judgment.

Personal Growth and Resilience

Being willing to be disliked fosters resilience and personal growth. It encourages you to take risks, pursue your ambitions, and stand by your beliefs, even in the face of opposition. This mindset is essential for innovation and leadership, as it allows you to challenge the status quo and bring about meaningful change without being hindered.

In summary, the willingness to be disliked is about embracing the individuality, taking responsibility for one’s own happiness, and living authentically without being constrained by the need for external validation.

Is it easy or is it full of contradictions with the way I have been conditioned for many years. Even now, as I write this, my mind is thinking about what would people think about this article.

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. It is going to take courage and every bit of energy and mindfulness to grow and break out this mental prison.